Ironically, I read “Hillbilly Elegy” by now vice president JD Vance to better understand my junior high and high school experience with bullies.
Like Middletown, Ohio, Elyria, Ohio, had a large influx of Appalachian transplants. The lure to that rust belt community was the steel foundries and car plants that allowed a good union job and living wage to thousands of families.
Entering a junior high school in 1976 with only one other person from my elementary school was excruciatingly difficult for a shy person. The students at this school were tough and hardened by things I had never experienced.
The bullying began immediately. Me, with my “Dorothy Hamill” haircut and new pant suit my mom made were out of place with the long denim coats and big leather wallets with chains. Threats from girls who wanted to “beat my ass” and name calling ensued.
Even as I tried to morph myself into an eyeliner wearing tough chick, the abuse continued. I was “going with” a guy from West Virginia who introduced me to drugs, sex and threats by the time I was thirteen. He thought it was so cool I was such a “buzz hound”. I abused alcohol when I was home alone to ease my fears and anxiety. Somehow, I was able to raise myself up and out of that despair.
I left my hometown in 1982 with the plan to not return. That was beautifully accommodated by my father’s transfer to the East Coast. The good news is, I have a had wonderful life, a successful career that has allowed for early retirement and the ability to give back to my city through community art education.
The point is, there are many people in our country who are affected by the circumstances of their youth. Being bullied needlessly has created a person in me who is extremely empathetic to the suffering of others. It is our choice to use our experiences to create who we become. I have sought to understand my former bullies and forgive them.
As for JD Vance, whose book explained a great deal about the experiences of my classmates who bullied me, I see a person who has not healed at all. You’d have thought the introspection it took to write a book would’ve helped him be better. JD has had mentors and amazing opportunities that have elevated him. He has taken those opportunities to become the worst sort of sycophant and bully. President Trumps days will end as his age is advanced and cognitive abilities are in decline. JD Vance is a young man with years of influence ahead. While I know in my heart he is twisted by his early years, he should be able to behave with more wisdom and compassion than he does. He is the true danger.
No comments:
Post a Comment